What happens when it all falls apart

It's like the more and more I try to write about this, it seems like my words are caught in my throat, like a furball. I want to spill everything out but it's hiding in the deep compartments of my throat. My mouth is dry and I can't think straight. It's almost as if I'm ashamed to feel the way I do, but so extatic as if I've just cracked some code. I want to cry but I want to dance, my mind doesn't know which side to take and it's as if I'm on a tilt-a-whirl that wont cease to an end. Then what if I tell you will it ruin everything we've accomplished? What will you say to me, will you even have words? Because I know I don't.