The pain that hides within

So there's a topic that's been on my mind for quite some time now; drug abuse involving children. It's something almost every family can relate to in some ways. Whether it's just a cigarette your little brother picks up when he's four or a used needle your cousin picks up on the side of the sink. Either way, we can all relate to this dangerous and scary epidemic. I remember a time when my own family members were using drugs. My aunt and uncle, would do meth in the bathroom and lock my baby cousins out. Rilee was four, Josephine was three, and Lannon was barely a year. It was heartbreaking watching Josephine cry when her mom had been in jail on her birthday. The thing that hurt me the most was watching how much they knew about drugs at such a young age, I mean no four year old should mention words like pipe, dust, or drug. It made my heart break. So if you know of a friend, family member, or someone you barely know who's using drugs, find them help; don't let the children suffer.

This poem is a tad graphic

Piercing needles inside the bruising skin on my arm,
Hurting inside, trying to get better but all I do is harm,
Inhaling the scent of cold, chilling, death,
Lying here on the couch boiling up this meth.

Ignoring the shrilling screams coming from Lannon's room,
I want to help him but I wont get up, falling into doom,
The kids want to play outside they're begging for some fun,
I scream and hit and carry on, until I'm alone without a one.

I feel my teeth rotting inside my brain with every puff,
Just when I think I've got my fix I haven't had enough,
Cracking lips turning purple, bleeding down my chin,
This deadly fight called meth I cannot seem to win.

Pushing family and friends so dear, so very far away,
I want to give them a call, but I wont get up for days,
Leaving the kids with no dinner, they cry until there sick,
Jittery shaking breaking into a sweat, I need to get out quick.

I find anyone selling crack along the lonesome street,
So cold and so weak I wont even pick up my feet,
I finally find some one with the right sort of mix,
Then I go home and cook it up, a bowl of my finest fix.

I load up some syringes with my magic potion,
Staring at the needle I feel no sort of emotion,
I leave the used needles on the edge of the sink,
Josie grabs one and throws it within a blink.

Screaming and crying she runs, with a sore on her arm,
Trying to fix this wound, I scream but I don't harm,
Rilee begins to cry, at the sight of her little sister,
She tries to run up to hug her and kiss her.

I scream in frustration at the sight of my crying kids,
Then breaking into a cry myself thinking of what I did,
I almost let it happen, let her die from this disease,
Breaking down into sobs I fall onto my knees.

I hold them close into my chest not ever letting them go,
Feeling sicker then a dog I've hit my all time low,
I call the help line for the treatment plan for the day,
Not waiting anymore for the white truck to take me away.

Writing wonders

So many people have been commenting about my poems that I tend to post on here. All the feedback has been just splendid! Writing for me is a way to escape. I write whenever I feel an excess of emotion usually. I also tend to write about things that have happened to me or my dreams. If you ever read a lot of my poems you'll notice a pattern of love, drug abuse, and poems about my dad usually. I also love reading poems and sharing mine with the world, I'm very open and rarely will write a poem I don't want to share. If you'd like to read all of my work please go to, http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/author.html?id=278534
thanks!

Car rides, speeding hearts, pulled over

The pounding of my heartbeat was strong enough to hit a ten on the rickter scale. My mind raced and I didn't know what to feel. No words would stumble out of my mouth because, I was too busy choking on the unnecessary. I waited, you smiled, I sighed, we laughed. Every mile we drove increased my excitement. I wanted to go faster, I wanted to be closer, I wanted to escape and run away. The music hummed against the speaker on my leg, the vibrations only quickened my pace, as I reached to turn the volume knob to it's maximum. We gazed onto the road ahead of us waiting for it to crack. Green, we danced, we sang, I screamed, you jumped. Yellow, we slowed down, I reached for it, and so did you. Red, I licked my lips you blushed, so deep. And as I stared at the stop light, I turned to look your way, that's when the color of your eyes became engraved into my memory.

As I close my eyes thoughts of you overwhelm me,
I wish they'd disappear, so I no longer ache with want.
I know you'd never fall in love for the type I am.
Please stop being so wonderful, because I am dying.

My heart is cracking and beating fast whenever you are near,
My tongue stands still for you are so beautiful, I am lost.
I feel as though if I died tomorrow no one would know.
That I'm secretly haunted by the spirit of you.

I breathe in your fragrance and my heart stops beating.
You look to me and smile not knowing how I feel.
Do you think I'd ever tell you, what would you say to me?
Too bad I'll never know, I'm quaking and I'm scared.

To look at you is to stare upon picture perfect want.
I shiver inside my thoughts waiting to look upon you again.
I will be sealed to this spot where you once stood.
Maybe you could turn the corner and stand within me.

A thousand wishes dissapear

I don't really know what to say. Is there anyway to scream on a blog? You can't really show tears on a blog either can you? I wish you could I wish there was some way to just let it all out hard and fast, just to get it over with. I wish that someone read these and could comfort you. But how do you comfort someone your not with. How do you tell someone your acheing with out officially letting them know. How do you tell her you hate her, without being mean? I guess you can't do any of this. Although I wish you could.