I hate the jealous feeling I get around my friends because of it. I envy the laughs they have and the overprotectiveness my friends hate. What I would do, to have him here to hate all boys. I'm even envious of people I don't know. I'll see dads holding there daughters and swinging them around, and it pains me. Sometimes I want to run and scream.
Sometimes I can't escape thinking of him. A song will come on about missing your boyfriend and he pops in my head, and I cry because I miss him.
Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like I can't talk to anyone. Because it happened so long ago people think that it's easier to deal with and they can't understand my tears. But everytime I think of the night he passed I bawl. Tears just run from eyes.
I miss him.
My eyelids shutter to open, as the sound of the crackling TV awakens me.
Swinging my three-year-old legs out of bed, in a hurrying motion to find my dad.
That is when I notice the empty bed beside me, no longer held her,
The game that we were playing before, still lye illuminating against the carpet.
I made my way to the big wooden door that hovered over my body.
The doorknob beneath my grip was frigid, and sent chills down my spine.
The TV was still discordant, making me want to cover my ears for silence.
That's when I noticed the dining room light blaring into my vision.
There was a cup lying on its side on top of the counter out of my reach.
Single drips of room temperature water dripped from its mouth.
The floor haunted my feet with its numbing cold, I shivered;
That's when I noticed the barren hallway that looked like it went on forever.
As I stepped to warm carpet my heart slowed to a normal rate,
The doors to my left and right left me feeling helpless and alone.
That's when I approached his door; never will I forget its presence.
The towering oak above me lingered in my mind as I grabbed its knob.
Everything seemed ordinary but it was looming an eerie presence.
The clothes were still in two separate piles, darks and whites.
The comforter on the bed was disoriented, and no one was inside.
Breathing became heavy, and my chest weighed to the floor.
I bolted; nothing could slow me down, nobody could make me stop, but him.
I reached the living room once again, when there was a tapping at the door.
I hid; I was terrified and shaking in a ball behind the couch, when I saw them.
They were Sherry's neighbors, their greeting held a saddened shadow.
They turned on the cartoons as I sat wondering what was happening,
Just then car lights shined brightly in the window, it was daddy! He was here!
Except it wasn't. It was my aunt Julie, tears smeared on her cheeks.
She picked me up and carried me to her car, and fastened me tight.
The streetlights kept my eyes drifting open, but eventually it was too much.
I fell into a sudden sleep, dreaming up times with my father.
When I awoke I was in my grandmother's house, sheets over my body.
I stepped into the living room, to see familiar faces starring, he was missing.
He is forever gone...
(not edited)
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