Snow envy

Have you ever missed someone so much it physically hurts? Every time you think of them it just throws you into a frenzy of pain, and you don't know whether you want to cry, or throw up, or even both. When you lose someone so close to you, it hurts like this. And you'll never know the pain until it happens. Until you wake up in your child like bed and he's gone...Sometimes I find myself searching for him. Like maybe he's still here, or reincarnated or something. Do you ever feel frustrated while looking for someone that you don't know. That's how it feels. Day after day I search, I miss him, I cry. Still it doesn't bring him back. I was watching Jack Frost with my mom, and when Charlie found out the snowman was his dad and he didn't have to search anymore, I envied him. It's funny you know envying a person you don't know, or more likely a fictional character. But I did. How amazing, and phenomenal would it be to see him again, to hold him, for him to tell me it will be okay, that he's still here. Who knows right? I hear we're suppose to get a storm;)

Snow ballerinas

The notes coincide with her rhythmic feet dancing circles in the flakes.
Pirouette; so graceful, as her battered ballet slippers soak up the ice.
Locks of curls hang in her focused eyes, as she concentrates deeply,
Her eyes on her feet, his eyes concentrated strongly on her.

The leotard stretches with her back into a perfect C as her right leg jumps.
His eyes captivated and enthralled by her body’s angelic movements.
Tip toeing her arms stretch over her head, then she stops and stares;
Looking only at him, her eyes fixated on his chest collapsing rapidly.

Slowly she is balanced on one foot, on one toe, and his gaze holds her up.
Higher then she’d ever imagine, his eyes holding a grip on her frigid body.
She exhales and the ground shakes, he’s waiting to catch her, just grasp her.
Whatever it takes to reach out and touch her, if only the flakes would stop.

They don’t…they hold their power trying to break her into imperfectness.
Her feet leap, as her arms fly, she wisps through the snow faster then the wind.
It spins her strongly closer to him, like he is the weatherman casting his forecast.
Just then their skin brushes and the snow stops, the world stops, but their hearts race.

The book that's being written

Chapter one
Lily
Lily Christensen held her head high as she began her slow, long steps, to the front of his house. She wrapped his flannel shirt around her tighter as the New York breeze wisped through her. She could feel the goose bumps crawling up her thighs, lingering the frigid air. She stopped when she reached the stairs. Hayden’s house was on a hill, the corner of Lexington and third. The bricks with there auburn color, stood out brightly with the autumn leaves. Lily looked up and smiled at the tire swing dangling from the one tree in Hayden’s yard. He used to sit and push her there for hours under the night’s stars then they would lye in the grass in silence.
When her warm finger pressed against the bitterness of the ice-cold doorbell, she shivered. She wasn’t sure if she was shivering from the cold, or if she were truly scared of what Hayden might say to her. She tapped her toe on the dirty welcome mat that lay sloppily in front of the Michael’s residents. Her recently bitten fingernails drummed against the multi colored buttons on her messenger bag.
She saw a moving figure appear somewhat through the textured glass of the door. All she could think of is in 3.2 seconds her whole life could be over. Then what? Who could replace him? No one came to mind, because no one has ever touched Lily Christensen’s heart in such a way.

Chapter two
Hayden
He was listening to his ipod, drowning out her scent in his room with Febreeze. No matter how many squirts came out of that bottle the essence of Lily lingered everywhere he stood. The pads of his fingers gripped his forehead in frustration of the fact she was forever branded in his mind. He rolled his tongue over his lips; still he could taste her peach chapstick.
His mind drifted back to August 10th. He had been pushing Lily on his tire swing for at least a good three hours, and then when he stopped they laid upon the grass in silence. Then she had kissed him, just once, nothing big, but it was to Hayden. He forever remembered the way the peach flavoring of her lip-gloss, never truly faded off his lips.
The chiming doorbell rudely interrupted his thoughts. He climbed out of his bed and sighed as he saw her shadow hidden by his textured glass door. His heartbeat quickened as he grasped the doorknob. In one more swift motion of his wrist his life would be incomplete.
She stood there in front of him, her long chestnut hair laid on her chest covering the top of Hayden’s flannel shirt. A small smile crept upon his face but, then slowly disappeared when he remembered why she was standing in front of him looking so heart broken.

ring a ding ding

We put up the tree, covered it with lights, ornaments, garlin, and ribbon and I must say it looks spectacular. We haven't got around to putting all of the presents under the tree but we have a few. I love the way Christmas time feels. I get into such a giving mode it's insane. All the things I buy in December are for friends and family; you know just trying to get the perfect gift. And cookies! Who could forget those? My family makes home made frosting, my grandma started it and it tastes so sweet and just not store bought. I love it.