Adjective that bounce

Why are people so engrossed in ruining others self confidence? There are different theories out there, they want to feel better about themselves, they don't have friends, or they're jealous of you. I have my own theory. I think people judge others, talk behind others back, and call others names, to avoid thier own problems. Now you might think I'm wrong but, that's the only time I've ever done it. I'm sure everyone does it too, think about it; you have a fight with your parents, you fail your driving test, then you see him/her; your target. You might not even realize it but we all do it.
I'm so sick of being the name in everyones mouth, but you know what's worse? When they speak it to your face. Have you ever had someone tell you what they think of you and it's not pleasent? There words are so hurtful you just want to run and never be seen again, yeah it's happened to me numerous times. Most of the times the person doesn't realize it until the tears start to form. Then they most likely still don't care.
There's this person who's supposed to be like a grandmother to me, but constantly in her mouth, I'm a failure. Can you imagine your step grandparent talking bad about you? I couldn't either until it happened. Her words constantly haunt me...

"You're fat...you're never going to make it as a writer, you might as well give up...why even wear makeup it wont make you pretty...that shirt isn't flattering on your midsection, go change....."
It never stops!

So one day I just overcame it, I remember I heard a song and I realized I'm okay with me so that's all that matters and I wrote this,

Molded Adjectives

Smokey darkness surrounds the pupils in my eyes.

Lumps of air and spit are getting wedged into my throat.

My tongue is dry and all I can taste are your words.

As they envelop me I fall more and more away.

Gripping into my wrists, they want me to feel pain.

Wanting to feel isolation, eyes reminding me of ache.

Tears slip down my cheeks, burning like acid.

As one slips onto my lips, ice overcomes me now.

My bottom lip quivers, as spit barely covers the top.

Eyes close tighter, trying to create a barrier for these tears.

Breath quickens as you look at me with satisfaction.

You have done it, captured me with your venom.

Words suck deeper into my flesh, all I feel is adjectives.

Scrambling over my body like tiny bugs on dirt.

I though, am lower then dirt in your twisted thoughts.

Well to me dirt has never tasted so tantalizing.

So spit on me those adjectives, for I am stronger now.

You are nothing but, another bruise upon my heart.

Molding into a form of blue along the others among it.

Blue, bright, and mysterious, possibly my new color.