Dreams. I can't even bare a glance your way. Everytime I try I feel my stomach churn. My emotions overcome me and I can't breathe. I don't even want to. All I want is steal more glances your way but I can't. Your forbidden. Maybe that's why my thoughts crave you. That's why I can't think at all. I don't want to think because it's endless thinking of you. I can't stop myself. But I don't want to. I love that i need you this way. But then I remember I'm suppose to hate you. All of my contradicting thoughts make my head hurt or maybe it's the furious butterflies bruising my stomach. Dark purple little dents develop across my interior. I feel it with every breath I take in so sharply. There are about twenty kids surrounding us. Yet I only see you, i only hear you. Your laugh, your voice, it haunts my thoughts. My mind pushes my body towards you. The closer I feel the further you walk away from me. Soon I'm falling and I can't stop. Until I'm crying, pleading for you. Then it's black. I awake.
What is a dream? It's intense. It's exciting. It's vivid. But sometimes terrifying. What do dreams even me? Is there a significance to them? I feel as though it's your sub conscience way of telling you somethings up. Either with mixed messages or something so easy as you should go to the bathroom right now.
It scares me wondering what my dreams mean. Do I secretly want what I dream about? Should I persue the person who I'm dreaming about?
All of these thoughts race through my head on top of the fact I have a pretty heavy dream to deal with. It gives me a headache and I just want to stop. Until I go to class and your right there. Staring at me. And I can no longer escape what I tried so hardly to forget. You smile. I cringe. I can't help it the lop sided butterfly feeling is definitly not my style. I don't even know why people like this feeling or why they think it's butterflies. It makes me want to throw up, because it feels like unsteady frogs leeping around in the pit of my stomach. I loathe this feeling but I never want it to stop. Maybe it doesn't have to.
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