What if, no thanks:)

My IHome is blarring through the speakers that are way to old to even function without making some wierd squeeking noise. I wanted them to work. Just for this song, for these three minutes and forty two seconds. But it doesn't. It squeeks and rattles, and makes a terribly annoying noise to the point where I just give up. I've been doing that a lot lately. Giving up. Not being patient or understanding with things and situations. I just blow it off. Somehow there is this feeling I get of guilt. But then sometimes it feels good. Like I don't have to care about all the little nothings anymore. All the little dramas that don't matter. Then I do the "what if" scenerio. "What if he would have changed....What if that was a good ending....What if...What if...What if."